Life is Like a Hurricane
by ShiTiger
Summary: Mostly a series of one-shots for the Ducktales 2017 series. Pairings will be updated as I go. Spoilers, so make sure to watch the episode first. (Scrooge x Flintheart, Scrooge x Goldie x Flintheart, Doofus x Louie, Mark Beaks x Falcon Graves).
1. Old Rivals

_Backstory: Episode 2 included Louie's famous line "Wait, are they going to kiss?" in regards to Uncle Donald and Mrs. Beakley. I couldn't help remembering it while watching episode 7, which included yet another long stare… (and yes, I've added Louie to the scene)_

* * *

"It's a staring contest," Dewey repeated, as the triplets watched the two billionaires glare at each other from their chairs in the middle of the room.

"Ewww, you're not going to kiss, are you?" Louie announced, making a face.

"Louie!" Huey and Dewey shouted, their eyes darting to the youngest triplet.

"What?" the green-clad duckling asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"Don't mind him, Uncle Scrooge. If you like guys, that's fine with us. No judgement," Huey insisted.

"Yeah, we're not **that** narrow-minded," Dewey added, elbowing his younger brother.

"I didn't mean it like that," Louie groaned, rolling his eyes. Flinging out a hand toward the billionaires, he stated, "They're both like SUPER old. Way too old to be making out."

Flintheart let out a laugh, but continued to hold his stare. "Your boy is a hoot, Scroogie."

"Apparently," Scrooge grumbled in a deadpan tone.

The heftier billionaire's sly grin deepened, his eyes narrowing in amusement. "Should I tell him about the time…"

"No," Scrooge interrupted, his own eyes narrowing at his rival.

"So, have you two…?" Dewey glanced back and forth between the older men.

"Dewey, you can't just ask them those things. That's super private!" Huey argued.

"Scroogie and I have done plenty of things," Flintheart chuckled, not at all phased by the ferocity in his rival's gaze.

"Ewww!" the ducklings groaned in unison.

"Glomgold!" Scrooge nearly shouted, leaning forward in his seat. Without averting his eyes from his rival, he called toward the children, "Louie, we're old, not dead. Our intimate lives are **our** business, I'll thank you to remember."

"Oh, come on now. I wasn't going to say anything weird," Flintheart insisted. "I was merely going to say that the two of us have gone on many… adventures together."

"Sure, you were," Scrooge grumbled, sitting back in his chair with a huff. He hoped that would be the end of it.

"Well, at least they're not getting hitched," Louie suddenly exclaimed, taking his phone out of his pocket to fiddle with it.

"What? If they got married, Flint would likely move in with us, since Scrooge is richer than he is," Louie explained.

"HEY!" the hefty billionaire shouted, clearly annoyed.

"We'd have to call him 'Uncle Flint,' and then he and Uncle Scrooge would stare at each other EVERY day," the hoodie-wearing triplet said with a groan.

"You know, boys, if I recall correctly, I DID ask your great uncle to marry me… many, many years ago," Flintheart told them, his eyes still focused on the other billionaire.

"Yes, you did. It wasn't even legal back then," Scrooge said, leaning his chin on his hand as he kept up the stare.

"It is now." Flintheart's eyebrows wiggled in amusement.

"Yes, yes it is," Scrooge had to agree.

Huey let out a loud gasp. " **ARE** you getting married? And can I help plan the wedding?"

"Ooh, you should say your vows while jumping out of an airplane!" Dewey insisted, making jet noises.

"If you **DO** get hitched, you'd leave your combined fortune to me, right?" Louie added, suddenly on board with the idea now that money was involved.

"Louie!"

"A lad after my own blackened heart," Flintheart chuckled.

Conceding defeat, Scrooge broke eye contact and turned to look at his boys.

"Yesss! I won!" the other billionaire yelled, standing on the chair and doing a victory dance — that nearly ended with him falling off the chair.

"Sometimes it's best to give your rival a small win — to keep their spirits up," Scrooge whispered to his nephews.

"I can't wait to start a wedding checklist," Huey said, clicking his pen and pulling out his notebook with unbridled excitement.

"We've got to tell Webby. I bet she'd love to help," Dewey said. Pulling his brothers close, he yelled, "Come on, boys. We have a wedding to plan!"

"Wait, boys… And there they go," Scrooge sighed, watching the triplets race out of the room. Across from him, his rival was still gloating loudly from atop his chair.

"Flinty, sit down NOW!" Scrooge demanded, pointing his cane at the other man. The other billionaire blinked at him, then sat down quickly. "Now, what are we going to do about this situation? If I know the boys, and I do, they're going to be babbling about this all the way back to the mansion."

"Uh, well… we **could** get married," Flintheart said. "It is legal now."

"I thought you LIKED being rivals," Scrooge commented, frowning at him.

"I DO! I asked you to marry me decades ago, Scroogie," Flintheart stated, suddenly serious. "You said no, repeatedly. I didn't think the topic would come up again."

"Oh… well, I suppose that's true. I mean, if we DID get married, who would pay for it all?" Scrooge said, leaning back in his chair.

"You WANT to get married? If that's a yes, then I will pay for it. But only if you're saying yes," Flintheart announced, his eyes fixed on the other duck.

"I can't say anything if a certain someone doesn't ask me _properly_ ," Scrooge grumbled, narrowing his eyes at the other billionaire.

Flintheart rushed to get down on one knee in front of Scrooge's chair. "I can't believe this day is finally happening. And I left the ring at home, and everything."

"You still have the ring?" Scrooge asked, blinking in amazement.

"Well, yeah. I guess I just always had that small hope that you'd one day say yes. No ring today, but Scroogie… will you marry me?" Flintheart's tone was astonishingly sincere.

"I… er… I suppose so. But we'll have to hash out some legal details in regards to our estates," Scrooge said, trying not to let his emotions show on his face. Inside, his heart was beating rapidly at the idea, and there was definitely a red tinge to his ivory cheeks.

"YES! I finally did it! I WON!" Flintheart crowed, pumping a fist into the air.

Scrooge's eyes immediately narrowed. "You won?" His icy tone was enough to force the other duck to calm down immediately.

"I mean… I'm happy that you said yes, Scrooge. I've wanted to marry you for a very long time," Flintheart amended, sitting back down in his chair to smile, genuinely, at his fiancée.

"Much better," Scrooge said, smiling calmly back. He didn't expect the other man to just forget their lifelong rivalry overnight, but he was sure he could wear Flinty down. Now he just had to deal with his family's reactions to the news.


	2. Love Triangle

_Summary: Just an alternate ending to the starting scene in episode:_ _The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains._

 **Love Triangle**

"Hello, Scrooge. This is my date, Goldie. What's that? Your ex, you say. How awkward this must be for you," Flintheart said, laughing manically.

"I'm not your date," Goldie insisted, removing the man's hand from her back.

"If we're going by those standards, you're both my exes," Scrooge commented, rolling his eyes. Goldie's eyes widened, her gaze flickering to the hefty duck next to her.

Flintheart, on the other hand, let out a cry of outrage. "That's not true. You never once took me on a date! You've never even bought me a coffee."

"Are you asking me to take you out for coffee?" Scrooge asked, raising a brow at his rival.

"Well… eh, it might be nice, once in a while. Bit of a change from being bitter rivals all the time," the hefty billionaire admitted.

"Yes, Scroogie, why don't you take US out for coffee," Goldie suggested, her voice deepening to an amused purr.

"What?" Scrooge looked affronted at the suggestion. "Why do I have to pay? Why don't you both treat ME to coffee?"

"You're the richest duck in the world," the pair said, their voices echoing each other.

"But you…" Scrooge broke off, letting out a frustrated groan. "Fine. But one of you gets the cheque next time," he announced, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Fine by me, Scroogie," Flintheart said, grinning.

"I'm a little tapped for cash, actually. I'm sure two wealthy gentleducks, like you, can handle the bill," Goldie stated, grabbing the two men by the arms, and pulling them close on either side of her.

Scrooge rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"Is she always like this?" Flintheart asked.

"Always," Scrooge told him.

* * *

 _Note: And then I watched the full episode. Not only were Scrooge and Goldie written perfectly for each other, there was this lovely love triangle, as well._


	3. Dance Master

**Dance Master**

 _Episode:_ _The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains._

 _Summary: Flintheart trying to make a certain someone jealous by dancing with… Dewey? I laughed so hard at this, I had to pause the video to catch my breath._

* * *

Scrooge caught sight of his rival, and the young duck in his arms. Raising a brow, he led Goldie over to them. "Goldie, would you be so kind?"

"Of course. I promise not to pick his wallet," the savvy woman replied. Bypassing Flintheart's now outstretched hand, she swept Scrooge's great-nephew into a rather elegant dance.

"Come along, Flinty," Scrooge insisted, grabbing his new dance partner by the hand. Setting a slow pace, the two billionaires were the center of attention as they danced away from the doors. "What were you even trying to do?" Scrooge asked, quirking an eyebrow at his rival.

"Make her jealous," Flintheart replied, glaring back at his dance partner for daring to lead.

"Make HER jealous?" Scrooge repeated in calm disbelief.

The heftier billionaire sagged, his eyes darting over the other duck's shoulder. "Make **you** jealous," he grumpily admitted.

"By dancing with my nephew?" Scrooge rolled his eyes. "If you had to pick a nephew to dance with, you might have been better off picking Donald. At least he's an adult."

"Is he here?" Flintheart immediately asked, glancing around the room.

Scrooge's hand tightened on his partner's waist. "No. It's just you and me, Flinty."

* * *

 _Note: Flinty was so jealous the entire time. He kept getting between Goldie and Scrooge… and it was definitely NOT Goldie he was focused on._


	4. Day of the Only Child

**Episode: Day of the Only Child**

Summary: Dewey and Huey find out that their brother has invited an unexpected guest to their 20th birthday party. The question now is WHY Louie invited the other heir, when everyone knows that Doofus Drake is… unhinged.

 _(This chapter is rated TEEN, due to the Doofus' rather stalkerish nature)_

* * *

"Happy 20th birthday, triplet Dewey," the young man at the door said, smirking at the blue-clad duck.

Dewey's face fell. Why, why, WHY did this particular duck get invited to their party? He was such a freakin' creeper. "Hello — Doofus," Dewey grumbled, trying not to glare at the other duck.

"Actually, I prefer to go by 'Mr. Drake.' But, as my future brother-in-law, I suppose you may call me _Doofus_ ," the heir of the Drake fortune insisted, snapping his fingers. The servant behind him, who was actually his aging father, rushed to carry in three uniquely colored gifts.

"Are the others here yet, Dew… Oh." Huey sucked in a breath, and resisted the urge to cringe back when the taller man in the doorway focused his attention on him.

"Hello, triplet Huey. Lovely to see you again. Red is definitely your color," Doofus commented, running his gaze over the eldest triplet's red suit.

Huey nodded, but quickly ducked behind his brother. If they had to deal with the potential future serial killer, at least they had each other.

"So… who invited you?" Dewey asked, despite suspecting the answer.

"I did." All eyes turned to gaze at the duck striding down the staircase, sporting a snazzy new green suit and tie.

"Can you give us a moment, please," Dewey insisted, grabbing Louie by the arm the moment he was in range.

"Sorry, sibling meeting," Huey said, grabbing the other arm. Between the two of them, they hauled Louie into a nearby room, and shut the door firmly.

* * *

"Are you insane? That's Doofus Drake. The guy who has practically been stalking you since you met him," Dewey whispered loudly, shaking his younger sibling.

"I don't even think Doofus knows how to have a _healthy_ relationship," Huey added, wrapping his arms around himself for comfort. Their older, by a few months, neighbor gave him the chills.

"Guys, relax," Louie insisted, pulling away from Dewey. "Doof and I have come to an… understanding. Like it or not, he's set to inherit millions when he turns 21. As the heirs of the McDuck fortune, we HAVE to be on good terms with him. It's like Uncle Scrooge and Glomgold. They drive each other crazy, but they make good rivals."

"Oh, come on. Everyone with eyes knows that Scrooge and Flint are… er, bed buddies," Huey said. "And Flint still acts like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum half the time."

"Exactly. If Scrooge can handle Flintheart Glomgold, then I can perfectly well handle Doofus Drake," Louie stated, pushing past his brothers to open the door — only to find himself staring up at a grinning face. "Private conversation, Doof. Remember when we talked about boundaries?" The youngest triplet pressed a hand to the other man's chest, pushing him back from the doorway. Doofus, who was at least a head taller than the triplets, allowed himself to be moved.

"I was just so… _eager_ to see you, my sweet. Here. A little pre-gift." The heir to the Drake fortune held out a small green box, which opened to reveal a 24 carat gold watch.

"This better not be a 'friendship' bracelet," Louie warned, reaching in to pluck the watch from the satin pillow it was resting on.

Doofus' grin widened, his eyes riveted to the green-clad duck. "Of course not. I've learned my lesson. May I have the _honor_ of escorting you to the party?"

Louie glanced over his shoulder to give his skeptical brothers a firm look. His lips moved to silently mouth the words, _'I can handle Doof,'_ before he slid his arm through the older man's own. "I believe I can allow that." Dewey and Huey exchanged uncertain glances, but trailed behind them.

* * *

"So, er… that young man is dating Louie, is he?" Uncle Scrooge asked, raising a brow at the two young men dancing in the midst of the triplets' other friends.

"If you can call it that," Dewey grumbled, glaring.

"I see. Rich and not very stable. Someone to keep an eye on, for sure. Especially if he's anything like Flinty," the elderly duck sighed, patting the younger man on the shoulder for support.

"He tried to keep Louie prisoner the first time they met." Dewey shivered in disgust, glaring even harder at the man dancing with HIS brother.

"Yeah, that's pretty disturbing, but it seems like Louie has a handle on things. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you can't truly control another person. Louie's going to make the choices he makes, good or bad. And, if things ever do get out of control, your brother will always have his family to help him out," Uncle Scrooge insisted, leaving Dewey to think over his words.

"Oh, you bet I'll be there. If that creep hurts our Louie, I'll make sure he gets what's coming to him," Dewey swore, clenching his fists.

* * *

 _Note: I have to admit, I was hesitant to write this pairing. Between older teens, or adults, this episode could have gone in a very BAD direction (seriously, the pants thing was the creepiest moment in the episode. Ew, dude… just ew). In fact, it's pretty obvious that Doofus Drake could end up with a very weird obsession for the triplets. If he doesn't end up with an obsession for Webby._

 _On another note, is Louie the more sensitive of the three? He actually CRIED in that episode._


	5. The Beginning of Something More

**The Beginning of Something More**

 _Summary: Falcon was hired to be his bodyguard… until he found himself accompanying the young billionaire to a fancy restaurant._

* * *

Falcon Graves glowered at the back of his employer's head, all the while cursing himself for taking a job as _his_ personal bodyguard.

"We have the table you requested for you and your…" The waiter paused, eyeing the hulking man brooding behind the famous billionaire. "Date," he finally added, turning away to lead them across the restaurant.

"Let's go, Gravsey!" Mark Beaks insisted, looping his arm through the taller man's own.

"Don't call me that," Falcon growled, but he allowed himself to be maneuvered until they were seated at a table on the balcony, overlooking the ocean. It was a rather romantic setup, given the fancy candles, crimson tablecloth, and elaborate place settings.

"You hired me to be your _bodyguard_ ," Falcon hissed across the table.

The young billionaire glanced up from his phone, smiling nonchalantly. "You ARE my bodyguard. Buuuut, my date cancelled at the last minute, and Mark Beaks does NOT go to dinner alone. Everyone expects me to have a date, and you fit the bill."

"Why didn't you just ask a woman?" the older man stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Pah! Come on, Gravesy. It's the 21st century. I flow both ways, if you get my drift," the grey-feathered avian said with a wink. "Besides, as long as my date is _hot_ , no one cares what gender they are. And, as I mentioned, you **do** fit the bill."

Falcon opened his beak to protest, but found himself struck silent by the comment. It isn't that he didn't know he was handsome, but he hadn't expected his tech-distracted young employer to suddenly hit on him.

"Relax," Mark insisted, his eyes firmly focused on his phone. "You're still my bodyguard, but now you get a free meal out of it."

Falcon sighed, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling. "Very well," he growled, opening the menu. He didn't notice when his _'date's'_ eyes focused back on him, nor was he aware of the tiniest smirk on the other man's beak.

"Hashtag, hot date," Mark whispered to himself. "And post."

* * *

 _Note: These two are cute together. Maybe Falcon will realize, after the third or fourth time he's corralled into being Mark's 'dinner date,' that there really isn't anyone else in the picture. I love the idea that Mark is both deviously (and lazily) brilliant, but adorably innocent in the love department at the same time._


	6. The Treasure of the Lost Lamp

**Episode: Treasure of the Found Lamp**

Summary: "I really do love my little syrup boat. I couldn't just give it away without a proper trade for something of _equal_ value." Extended Doofus Drake x Louie scene from the new episode.

* * *

"You've been playing the theremin for an hour," Dewey exclaimed, his mind already dry from boredom.

Louie cleared his throat and stepped forward, inwardly shivering at the reality of being back in the psychotic boy's home. This guy had tried to imprison him the first time they'd met! If his brothers hadn't… Louie quickly shook his head, trying to calm his nerves. It was okay. His brothers were here. Doofus Drake wouldn't be able to capture all three of them without people noticing.

"Heyyyyy, buddy. Do you remember purchasing an old lamp recently?"

The larger boy circled them, looming down from the knee high roller skates he was wearing. Louie felt his breath catch in his throat as Drake's dark eyes narrowed at him. His pulse began to quicken, ever as his mind screamed at him to escape.

"Hmmm… Lamp? Lamp… Laaaaamp."

The triplets watched the young billionaire skate up one giant playing card, the king of spades, which had his face custom-painted on it. He skated down the card on the other side, slipped under two extremely sharp-looking swords, and then did some elaborate footwork to pass through a double line of wine glasses without breaking a single one. It was rather impressive, really.

"Oh, you mean my syrup boat," Drake suddenly exclaimed, turning his attention back to them.

"Uh huh. Yeah, sure man, whatever," Louie gulped nervously, eager to get as far away from this nightmare of a place as possible.

Drake's dark eyes narrowed, his lips twitching into an amused smile. "What is it worth to you?"

"Nothing!" Louie immediately shouted, wincing at his own voice.

"What he means," Huey interrupted, stepping past his little brother, "is that it's just an old family heirloom. Not really worth anything of real value, but Uncle Scrooge does want it back."

"Does he now? That's a shame," Drake sighed, turning around so that they couldn't see the smirk on his face. "I really do love my little syrup boat. I couldn't just give it away without a proper trade for something of _equal_ value."

"What do you want?" Dewey ventured to ask, immediately wary of the other boy's tone.

"Oh, nothing much," Drake declared, turning to face the triplets. His dark gaze swept over the elder two, before fixating on the youngest and loveliest boy. The wide-eyed expression on his face made the billionaire's mind leap to the fantasy that had filled his thoughts since their first encounter.

' _Drake, let me stay here with you. You'll take care of me, and protect me forever. I don't need anyone else. Not my brothers or my uncles or a girlfriend.' The pretty boy in the green hoodie stepped forward, gazing up at him with admiration._

 _Doofus Drake puffed out his chest, towering over the shorter boy with a proud look. 'Oh, I don't know. I have everything I want already.'_

 _Louie looked devastated. 'No, Drake. Please let me stay with you! I'll even wear your friendship bracelets. Don't you think they look lovely on me?'_

 _The golden shine of the bracelets blended nicely with the green of his hoodie, even as his eyes began to tear up at the thought of Doofus sending him away._

' _Well, if you insist. I suppose I could let you stay with me,' the older boy exclaimed, shrugging his shoulders._

' _Oh, thank you, Drake. Thank you. I like you so much, I…' The smaller boy's arms wrapped around Doofus' waist, even as he lifted himself up onto the tips of his webbed toes. Soon they would ki…_

"Is he always this weird?" Drake heard the middle triplet ask, even as he snapped out of his fantasy.

"You have no idea," Louie grumbled under his breath.

Drake's eyes narrowed in glee as the interrupted fantasy remained frozen in his mind. Resisting the urge to lick his lips, he announced, "I want a moment alone with Louie."

"What?" three voices echoed back at him.

"I want," the billionaire repeated, "a moment _alone_ with Louie. To discuss the proper payment for my syrup boat. I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?"

"Uh, well, I…" the younger boy unconsciously ducked behind his eldest brother, clearly shaken at the idea.

"I'll discuss the payment with you," Dewey declared, stepping forward.

For a brief moment, Drake was tempted to accept. Dewey was the 'funny' one, after all. But his first time should be special — which meant that only his green-clad beauty would do. "A pity." The billionaire spun around again, skating toward the door to the next room. "I suppose I shall have to keep my syrup boat."

"No, wait!"

Doofus Drake turned around to see Louie rushing past his brothers, darting toward him like a beautiful bride eagerly running into the arms of her beloved groom. His heart began to race at the thought of sweeping the lovely boy into his arms, and keeping him FOREVER.

"I'll… I'll go with you. But only into the next room. And no friendship bracelets," Louie was quick to announce, stopping a foot away from the older boy.

"Of course," Drake quickly promised. He wouldn't need his special bracelets for this deal. He turned to knob to his private room, and opened the door. "Come this way."

Louie approached the darkened doorway, his heartbeat racing in his ears. _It's okay, Huey and Dewey are in the next room. Doofus can't keep me if they know I'm here. I can handle this._

A light went on in the room, and Louie nearly jumped back in fright. After taking several not-so-calming breaths, he edged into the room, and gulped when the other boy slowly slid the door shut behind him. "W-what is this place?"

"It's my private room. My servants aren't allowed in here, except to clean and change the sheets." Doofus glanced around the room, his gaze trailing over the grand bed with its salmon pink sheets, before deciding to take a seat in the elegantly crafted computer chair at his writing desk. Once seated, he was only half a head taller than the youngest triplet.

"So, uh…" Louie forced his attention away from the bed, only to find himself trapped in the other boy's intense gaze. "The deal… you wanted to make?"

"Ah, yes. Come closer," the young billionaire insisted, crooking a finger at him.

Despite feeling like ice was creeping up his spine with every step, Louie did so. He came to a stop just out of the other boy's reach. His eyes darted to the closed door, before snapping back to the billionaire. "What do you want, Drake? And why couldn't my brothers be here for the deal?"

"Lovely and smart," Drake purred, watching as the younger duck's beautiful eyes widened. "It's simple, really. All I want from you… is a…"

Louie drew back, his arms unconsciously wrapping around himself as he wait for the other boy to announce his twisted demands.

"Kiss."

"Wait, what?" Louie couldn't help gaping at the other boy in shock. That couldn't be right. He must have misheard him.

"I want a kiss. From you, my lovely Llewelyn," Drake explained, drumming his fingers on his thigh.

"A kiss — where?" the triplet immediately asked, his attention dropping to the other boy's hand.

It was Drake's turn to be taken aback. He couldn't help but laugh aloud at the thought. "Well, not my thigh. We don't know each other that well, yet. No, I want a proper kiss." His hand drifted up to his bill to blow a quick kiss at the younger boy.

"Oh, um… Wow, that is not… Wait a minute!" Louie's eyes narrowed in anger. "What did you just call me?"

"Uh…" Drake straightened, feeling a jolt of nervousness at the other boy's furious gaze. "Llewelyn?"

The triplet stormed forward, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "I don't know where you heard that name, but you're never going to use it again. My NAME is Louie!"

"So beautiful," Drake whispered, delighting in the other boy's unexpected temper. He wanted him even more now. "About that kiss?"

Louie tried to step back, but the older boy's hands were now pressing into his back, holding him in place. "Well, I don't know…"

"Come on, Louie," Drake purred, inching forward. "All I want is one little kiss, and then I'll tell you where your lamp is."

"F-Fine! One kiss, and then you give me the lamp. And you don't try any funny business. My brothers and I are not your toys!" Louie snapped, glaring at the taller boy.

"I promise," Drake agreed. _We're about to have our first kiss!_

"Fine, I just… I've never…" Louie took in a deep breath, and forced himself to lean forward, shoving their bills together. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could… Something wet stroked over the front of his bill, startling him enough to open his mouth. Before he could get a word out, the other boy was pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

 _He feels so perfect in my arms. So warm and willing. I want to keep him forever._ Drake was shaken from his thoughts the moment the other boy pulled away. Opening his eyes, he was delighted to see the younger boy's white cheeks flushed a deep red, his feathers disheveled from their embrace.

"T-that was one kiss. As promised," Louie struggled to say, even as he tried to calm his heart. It wasn't fair that a creep like Doofus Drake was such a good kisser. Not that he'd ever admit out loud that he kinda wanted another one.

"I suppose it was," Drake sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I did use the little lamp as a syrup bowl, but then the syrup ran out, and I threw it away."

"You threw it in the garbage! And after I…" Louie let out a shout of frustration, racing for the door without even waiting to see if the other boy would follow. Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered the feeling of the other duck's bill against his own. Drake had taken his first kiss, and they hadn't even gotten what they were searching for!

"Louie, are you okay?" Dewey asked.

"Did he hurt you?" Huey demanded to know.

"I'm FINE! He threw it AWAY!" Louie announced, grabbing his brothers by the arms as he passed them. In moments, the triplets were out of the building, chasing after the garbage truck that was now driving down the street.

"Goodbye, my precious Llewelyn," Drake purred, even as the triplets fled his brilliantly-crafted home. Skating back to his circuit of doom, the billionaire snatched up the second playing card, and cradled it in his arms. "My beautiful Llewelyn," the boy purred, stroking the face delicately painted onto the card's surface. Clad in a green dress, and sparkling crown, the other boy shyly smiled back at him. "You shall be my queen someday."

* * *

 _Note: Poor Louie. He was so traumatized the entire time. And Doofus Drake creating his own custom-painted playing cards… you can bet the triplets are featured in there somewhere. Especially his favorite 'friend.'_


End file.
